This night, I heard a news from my father that my uncle passed away. This morning, her daughter (I called her ‘mbak’) sent WhatsApp to me that her father was in hospital. I did not presume worse case about my uncle’s condition until this night, several minutes before he died. My father replied my WhatsApp, “He is critical, do pray for him”. Then, a news in WA group, “Innalillahi wa innailahi roojiun, the uncle passed away”. I called my father then, he asked me to not go home, to stay at Bandung.
Less than a month, I communicated with my uncle two times, when in my home and when in his home. He was healthy in that time, even he was imam for duhur prayer in the mosque when the second chance met him. His teeth were not full following his old. I don’t expect that this life not long after that. For my deepest heart, I want to go home attending his funeral and try to cheer his family up. Distance is boundary, I only can to pray ‘gaib’ for him. May Allah forgive his sins and receive his kindness. Goodbye Pak De, your goodness will always be remembered.
To commit to a goal is not easy, you must face many problems that distruct you to focus with. I planned that this week I must finish my intial PhD draft so I must spend much time in this. In reality, I was distructed with many things till this time I haven’t finish this work. I recognize that working for academics in particular related to the research is hard, reading-thinking-writing are combined. Because I was targetting this work, but I was muddy to focus, it impacted to my feeling “stress”. Yes, this week I was so stressful, I force to work in some coffee shops but I was still not focus. I denied many weekend activities such as going to my friends home or just to take refreshment with blogging or photography. I try to enjoy this work but it never happened. Am I so serious ? Maybe I must lower my goal or cut several targets from my note. I hope it will help me.
Since last long holiday, I have been drafting for my PhD proposal. This day I met my research-mate to give some suggestions. His feedback was worth for me. I am on the way to revise it in a coffee shop. I am very interested for the topic because it is so close with my master thesis. I know that to make scholarships deal with our proposal is nit easy, but I believe I can pass all this things. First step, I complete my draft till this weekend then revise it litlle by little in the next days later. This year I have been so busy that beside having several research jobs, I have some managerial jobs too. I must manage my time better than before. Another important job, I try to focus looking for a future love as my mother asked for.
I am so confident that I can make all that jobs done. It is all about a value I believe that working to help people make your life meaningful and excited. Watch this video, it will describe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKlx1DLa9EA
This time I am in Lamongan station waiting for the train bringing me to Bandung. My 10 days holiday has been ending, several hours left. Tomorrow I should go work again and do my routine activity again.
I feel satisfied for my holiday, my parent is healthy, my niece was 1 year old, and my target even not all finished but makes me happy. I wrote a note about my future target after this long holiday. I will do when I arrive at Bandung tomorrow. Let me make my dream comes true.
I posted several pictures of my holiday documentation in my instagram. Several still in my camera and this phone. Before I left my home, I took several pictures with my niece. Here a one.
This day I didn’t know exactly how much time I spent for my research. I felt to always connect with my laptop trying to finish my paper draft. I planned that before long holidays it will be done, so I can enjoy with my family then. Even the target is really written in my mind but I try to make my self happy doing that thing because I feel passionate.
I have future plan of my research, so after now research is done I will continue to another topics that is still related. It’s like puzzle. I plann that someday I will finish that puzzle. Then I can go to another big things. For the last, remember that passion is something that can optimize your energy to spend more time in there. So, find your passion.
Last afternoon, I attended a meeting that discuss a specific thing. I prepare a backup presentation even it was not actually help. My boss didn’t prepare well to handle this meeting so the goal we planned before was failed. Anyway, I don’t think so much about this, it was dynamics of organisation. As staff, I must understand to respect the boss, whatever the conditions are.
In the meeting, I had chance to speak up. I explained about what we have already done about a new platform. Unfoutunatelly, the was no greeting coming from me, I directly replied what other audience argued then explained it to the point. I noticed that the audiences listened to me during my presentation then after I was done, there were several questions and recommmendations given by the audience (I remembered two).
After the meeting was already done, I tried to go early to meet with an audience discussing about a project that will be presented next monday. Unfurtunatelly, he walked so fast so I canceled discussing with him. I was so lazy going back to the meeting to just delivering greeting to the audiences like what I usually did in the some meetings before. I felt guilty in that time.
This was a lesson to always keep attitude to everybody particularly for the olders. FYI, in the meeting there was a lecturer that I ever been taught, I should say hi to her 🙂
This evening I played badminton in a badminton dome at Antapani. This was second time in this Ramadhan. This chance was different because I still have sick, have an influenza since friday. I tried to take a rest more through sleeping and also took little jogging last evening but I am still not fit enough. Maybe the virus is stronger than I ever imagined.
Taking sport on the way before iftar makes my body fells so light. I have just had a dinner with meat hoping that it can stimulate my body to be fit so that my influenza will go away. After this, I will take a bath then do praying.
I hope tomorrow I will be actually fit so I can finish all of my jobs.