Suddenly I think it is nice to be Bad Boy, doing anything without thinking twice : it will disturb religion’s roles or any culturals prohibition. All I do is allowed when it is not disturbing people. You will not think about heaven and hell, because you think your life is this time. Or if you think about the day after tomorrow, someday your God will apologize you. Now is time to do anything but when you are old, it is time to be side of God, you must pray and pray.
One thing that make me think like that because of I don’t know exactly the existence of God. I just believe then I do 5 time of prayers a day and another religious activities. Is that God exist? Why you believe in God? Why you choose to be Muslim? Those are the questions I have no appropriate answers till the day. I ever joined a group whose goal learning together about Islamic principals, unfortunately its mentor just talk to us the urgency of reciting and memorizing Qur’an (to be Hafiz) because Qur’an will accompany us in Jannah (heaven). Another thing he always invite us to join as part of political movements like as demonstration and election in order to get God’s kindness.
So, those basic questions never be answered. Is there any efforts to answer it? No. All the day I spend for working, there is no enough time to spend answering that. So, are you still Muslim? Maybe half. When I pray, I am a Muslim, when I don’t, I am not sure. When I am totally muslim, I know the reason why I must pray 5 times a day and there is no doubt in doing many religious activities. Should you be like that? Maybe yes, let me try, it is an ongoing process.